Category Archives: Short films

Brevity’s never been my forte, but since I can occasionally do it, here’s a place for the short films and posts

Xhosas and Effects (South Africa Series 3/10)


Playout date: 12 November 2006
Camera: Fuji Finepix
Post Production: Windows Movie Maker – slight use
Location: Cape Town, South Africa
Other people featured: Waitress at Sheraton
Genre: Linguistic
Music used: “This could be heaven for everyone” by Queen – Karaoke version
Languages used: English and Xhosa
Animals featured: None

A very nice lady helps me to get an idea of what the click consonants of Xhosa sound like.
This video managed to get a share of silly comments from people who don’t really get it. Never mind. Tidak apa apa.

Imbecile’s guide to the EU


Playout date: 30 September 2006
Camera: Hypercam
Post Production: Windows Movie Maker – medium use
Location: On the net
Other people featured: None
Genre: Quirky
Music used: None
Languages used: English
Animals featured: None

 

This piece is a Hypercam piece with a voice-over.

The voice over was an imbecile based on the level that this awful EU propaganda film appeared to be aimed at. It was a little influenced by Brookers’ successful “paste” character in the early days of YouTube.

In April 2009 I took this down and today I have replaced it by as unlisted – you won’t find it in any of the standard in-site links in YT, and only follows of this blog and anyone you’ve shared the link above with will be able to see it.

The reason was not that the EU became less objectionable to me or the propaganda film from the EU site which I’m showing here any the less pathetic, quite the contrary. I just did not want random people coming along to think that the object of my mockery was people with speech impediments, or genuinely low-intelligence people who don’t deserved to be mocked, as they didn’t choose to be dull and where less is given less will be required.

I believe I can trust the regular viewers of this blog to be more discerning than the at-large YT population, hence the chance from private status to unlisted today, for this blog only.

Lizard on the loose – monitor exits! (Current video)


This is a tiny piece taken from a Holiday in France film which isn’t up yet – it will be in a few weeks – showing how if you take the context away you simply can’t tell if – as Longlat39 put it “this critter would fit in your hand or take your leg off”. The real answer is that the animal will fit in your hand, but the blood effect on the walls (actually the back of a plantpot and a window ledge were “walls”). So basically the piece was about that, really. Another loyal viewer said he was lost by it, but that’s really all it was. And the fact that I need to balance some big pieces several hours long with some things under a minute.

That way, you never know what you’ll get next.

Some people would never post up long pieces like mine, partly because they still have 10 minute limits in many people’s cases, but anyway splitting an item down into smaller parts gets the hit rates for the channel right up. I never really wanted to drive hits in any way that would be artificial.

So my pieces are really as long as it’s needed for the point of that particular piece. If it’s a reposted Soviet film or a radio show, or a Yom Kippur service like the one coming up, you get the whole thing in one go. If you don’t want to watch it in one go, you can mark how many minutes you were in and come back to it. For years now you’ve been able to start a YT film from any part of it. This was not the case at the very beginning – in 2007 if you remember, you had to start always from the beginning. You could pause, but if you came out of it altogether, you had to start over.

We’ve come so far since there I bet that’s just a dim and distant memory for most of you?

OK, polltime again – I got to quite liking these polldaddy things. Even if you don’t feel like posting a comment (and I do hope more of my new readers will start doing this and we can get a proper community going over here) still it’s got to be easy to respond to a poll. Or better still, please do both!

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