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Review of Hotel Centralny, Kedzierzyn-Kozle, for Google.

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Kedzierzyn-Kozle on a good day.

(Published to Google Hotpot earlier this evening, and it also gives me my post for the day here. I think that’s fair.)

I’m sitting here writing this actually in the hotel room having found it on the road in Google on my Android phone when I discovered that the place I was really supposed to be going was unexpectedly booked up.

I had a bit of a nightmare getting here from where the GPS said it would be only 9 km. The main bridge in Kedzierzyn-Kozle was shut, the next bridge up on the Oder per the GPS turned out to be some seasonal ferry that wasn’t there, and when I finally found the new road that wasn’t on even google maps and still isn’t, it turned out that there had been a nasty accident so I got caught in the road over the middle of the Odra waiting for the emergency services to do their bit.

The reception when I phoned gave me a good and accurate, courteous explanation about the services of the hotel. They promised a strong free wifi signal and the fact that this is here proves that they gave it. I am still not wholly in agreement though with the 4,5 average rating thta the hotel has received on Google so far, I would give it a 3,5, but in order to vote a bit of realism into the mix I gave it a three instead of a four as the current rating is really over optimistic, knowing the quality you can get in Poland.

The details, then. Not many plugs in the room, funny perfumey smell in the room of the sort using used to mask tobacco even though it’s a non-smoking room. I’m describing room 102, there may be variance between rooms in a hotel like this.

The double bed is of about the right softness, but there’s only one duvet and no throw. There is on the other hand a spare blanket in the cupboard, which is missing its handle. The temperature in the room is not too warm, not too cold, and there is no ambient noise at all, it is entirely peaceful, other than the noisy extractor fan in the bathroom with thankfully switches off as soon as the light goes off.

The building and its decor is all quite stately – looks like an old manor house converted to a hotel. Rooms have showers, no bath in mine, hot water in good supply,. The shower is modern, there are enough towels but they are like cardboard already and need replacing.

There’s only one chair and it’s a tad wobbly. The chair’s upholstery matches the cloth on the dado, but the curtains are plain and there is no throw so only white linen on the bed, and it is clean and smells fresh. The worst thing is that the curtains don’t reach across the whole window. the net curtains are also not too fresh. The window is openable and blockable, but as it’s several degrees below zero outside I will not use that.

In the drawers there is a telephone directory for businesses in the local area, and also one for the Nitrates Factory next door which this hotel either belongs to or used to belong to. There’s a small Sanyo colour TV which I will not switch on as who watches TV if there is a WiFi connection? There’s also a Sony radio cassette recorder which has FM, SW, MW and LW and is alreday looking like a museum piece. I’m seriously tempted to switch the short wave on. I used to love short wave when I was a kid, and I’d love to know if anyone actualkly broadcasts on it any more. But like I say, too few plugs, so I can’t do that and this review at the same time!

Two glass bottles with beerbottle style caps are given in the room price. There’s no mini-bar, which I think is a positive aspect as I don’t use them and don’t like them. It’s a local brand water from Kedzierzyn and tastes fine, maybe a bit high on the magnesium.

Downstairs I went to the restaurant, which is open to 22:00 and the last orders are 21:30. The waitress was attentive, and I heard her speaking decent English to the other guests. I sat in the corner where the piano is and played it a bit between my courses, it is quite serviceable, and apparently a young Czech guy called Adam comes over from Ostrava to play it on Wednesdays. I think that from the description I got, this is probably the same guy who played in the British Council Christmas Party in Prague in 2009. I was chatting to that guy then in Polish and he said he was from near Poland and came over to play in Poland, so it’s a small world.

The barszcz with krokiet was faultless, the Caesar salad with bacon very tasty and a very generous portion. The garlic bread was dry and not tasty. The tea is Dilmah and well presented, the prices in the restaurant are very reasonable. You can pay on the room.

What else can I tell you? You can park up right close to the front door, I don’t think they have a guarded car park, but the place doesn’t look as though it would necessarily need one. My ranking of three is a bit stingy, really but if this is a 4,5 then what am I to say about some of the places I’ve stayed in which are a lot better? It may be that this is better value for money – I didn’t actually ask the room rate as I’m on bizz, although in fact that’s no excuse and I should have.

The atmosphere is good, the staff very pleasant. I hear some days it can smell from the factory and unless you want Kedzierzyn-Kozle specifically it’s a bit off the beaten track. I think I probably gave you a good idea now. I’ll also put this review on my blog which is huliganov.tv.

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