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Huliganov’s England – 4/4 “Germy Claxon werry bed men!”


Original YT playout date: 21 January 2010
Duration: 10:24

Huliganov negotiates the underground railway on London, but comes face to face with none other that “Germy Claxon” himself! Or at least a poster thereof, advertising his latest bilious att-hacks. Huliganov is putting up with none of the nonsense this atrocious human being writes, and shows that even from his face you can tell that he is a no-good style character.
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Huliganov’s England – 3/4 “The Man on the Clapham Omnibus”


Original YT playout date: 18 January 2010
Duration: 14:21

What the man on the Clapham omnibus might think of something was always as much a beloved benchmark of desired behaviour/legal decisions in English law as the famous WWJD is to believing people in America. However, the man on the Clapham omnibus is merely a fictional character, as Huliganov discovers. When he finally sees a Clapham omnibus – he’s in for a big shock, which shakes to the core his faith in the English legal system…
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Huliganov’s England – 2/4 “London Calling”


Original YT playout date: 17 January 2010
Duration: 14:56

Let’s all go down the Strand with Huliganov, looking for his meeting venue and talking all the time.
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Huliganov’s England – 1/4 “Ghost Town”


Original YT playout date: 17 January 2010
Duration: 13:14

We fly from Warsaw Chopinmall Airport to so-called “London” Luton, (don’t be fooled, it’s nowhere near London) and then go on to Hemel Hempstead to do a spot of Christmas shopping, and get a few special offers. One offering by the Specials in the 1970s talked about “this town is coming like a ghost town” – they could really have been singing about Hemel Hemsptead a quarter of a century later – all the old lovely things like the Pavilion and the old market, and the nativity crib all gone, and replaced with stupid tableaux of fluffy toys being attacked by wolves and nonsense like that! Quite frankly the way things are going, the town is lucky to have a Christmas tree. By the way, please note that even after all these years, I sang that song at exactly the right pitch – as the video proves. I didn’t autotune it. If you think that’s easy, you try it! Could always have been a fluke, of course…
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Huliganov’s “Flight of Screams”


Monday, July 12, 2021

Original YT playout date: 14 January 2010
Duration: 1:53

It’s Orchestral Babies in the Dark, as in flight, everyone hears you scream.
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Huliganov’s Schiphol


Original YT playout date: 9 January 2010
Duration: 37:29

I had a flying visit to this suburb of Amsterdam containing one of Europe’s most pleasant – or maybe least unpleasant is the more accurate way of putting it – airports.
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Huliganov’s Philadelphia #5 – Meeting Mrs Merkel and a Pink Lady


Original YT playout date: 6 January 2010
Duration: 8:53

Here we see the bowling alley, the Union League, the inside of the Ritz Carlton and the journey from it to the airport, in the last of the series on Viktor’s visit to Philadelphia. It’s always nice to get the chance for an impromptu hobnob with one of Europe’s most important heads of state, that and a pink lady too was enough to go to anyone’s head in an evening’s entertainment.
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Huliganov’s Philadelphia, part 4 – Philadelphia Ballet


Original YT playout date: 26 December 2009
Duration: 8:53

They took us for a special performance. This is just a taster of this. If you want a special ballet performance for your conference, wedding or bar-mitzvah, get in contact with the Phildelphia ballet.
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Huliganov and Friends Christmas Variety Show


Original YT playout date: 24 December 2009
Duration: 19:50

“The show that is so dire that I would not dare to show it at any other time of year, although this is actually being reblogged on HTV in the middle of Summer.

You may be wondering where the Christmas Linguistic Quiz is, but owing to the fact that I had a strike earlier, which meant I went on strike, I didn’t do the preparation for that one early enough, which means we’ll roll over the prize money accruing on http://www.oioioio,com for next time. There’s very little there so far anyway. So I decided just to chuck together a few things that haven’t been played out yet some of which I recorded in the first half of 2008 and wasn’t sure whether to play out at all!

Maybe some people will find something to amuse them in there somewhere…”
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Huliganov’s Philadelphia, part 3 – Birth of a Nation


Original YT playout date: 20 December 2009
Duration: 43:53

We get the chance to look at the place where part of the British Empire was carved out and given to the people who lived in it, or at least the well-connected ones among them, on condition that they called themselves a different name. In the end all it was was the wrangling of one sort of elite against another sort, as we can see now, but at the time it seemed to people as though at last the ordinary man was able to assert his share of meaning. The sad thing is that to this day many ordinary British and American people don’t realise that essentially they are exactly the same nation, along with every other people that speaks the same language.

Race don’t enter into it, and I say that with an awarness that this is getting posted to huliganov.tv about the first anniversary of the death of that martyr to the excesses of white supremacy in the police force, George Floyd. Politics and structures don’t enter into it. Language is what defines our thought, and language is what makes us what we are. The people who speak one language are in essence all one nation.

English speaking people should never allow the world to classify us by whichever box the masons and royalists of history have made for us. We are the English, whether born in England and speaking with the accent I have, whether born in the US and never having been in England or had any ancestry from there, also those from Canada who are not from the French speaking part. They are the French, which is OK, there’s nothing wrong with that. You can live with them, you can play families with them, but you’ve got the French and the English there sharing a givernment structure and pretending to be a Nation, but it’s only artiificial.

Nations are a neologism anyway. In the past there were city states as well as Nations – nations won out and forced everyine to have a nationality, but it was just a way to put people in boxes and control them. We need to get back to language groups, and the way to be a citizen of the world is to learn a series of languages well enough to function well in other groups and effectively be part of them too.

There is no reason why we need to wait for some official to grant us a passport. We join the Russian nation by learning Russian well enough, even though very few people are awarded a Russian passport on that score. You have to be, like, Kim Philby or something.

So it’s time that we rejected Nation, and opened ourselves to the idea of Languation, Lation, Spation or whatever you wanna call it. That’s actually where we came from, and we may have been happier then.
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Huliganov’s Core ‘Ngrato


Original YT playout date: 17 December 2009
Duration: 5:02

Recorded some time back, only played out now, an extraordinary rendition of an old Italian number. But right now it seems to have gathered much more topicality. The ungrateful heart. He gave them umpteen channels of popular television, populist government, newspapers, a prime minister playboy with charm and charisma, not above teasing the German social democrats for being like concentration camp guards, and what does he get in return? From the ungrateful heart of the Italian nation, a disloyal lover, he gets a metal mock-up of the Milanese duomo smashed in his face. E nun c’e piense ‘cchiu.
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Huliganov’s Philadelphia, part 2 – Signers’ Hall


Original YT playout date: 13 November 2009
Duration: 23:00

We go to the place where the bronze casts of the original freemasons who decided that they were “the people”, as in not just SOME people, but THE ones with a capital THEE, and could get rid of the monarchy from the colonies. Some of them were dissidents, but only because they wanted some amendments to the Constitution, not because they were loyal to “Boy” George, the English king, who was considered to have had bad, even chameleonic karma. He was a herpetologist, you see, and his herpes were known all over the world. He tried to tax the colonies to finance his requirement for Zoovirax, so that he could house his chameleons and other herpes in appropriate terrariums, and therefore is considered to have been the first ever international terrarist.

They all signed following the words “yes, we really want to hurt you” in this very hall, built some 200 years later, and in that day they split the English nation into two, forcing the British to colonise Australia instead. The Western part started to be called Americans (even though they were in the process of killing the real Americans, but this self-same thing had been done before in Prussia by the people who made up a leading cohort in the non-loyal Americans) and the Eastern Part plus Canada carried on being the British Empire, and they played cricket and gave up slavery. Officially anyway. Later on America also gave up slavery in the South, battling each other in the process, and later on still they did battle against alcohol producers, the environment and most recently of all someone else’s freedom fighting, as well as turning up close to the end of two world wars, and helping us beat the Germans, who nevertheless love them and forgive them everything.

The leader, Ben Jammer Franklinstein, who was Grand Master of Pennsylvania, even though it was supposed to be a Quaker State and they have oats rather than Grand Masters, wanted all the people to sign, not just his fellow freemasons. He said the following immoral words: “I’d like to get the world to sign, in perfect harmony, this declaration of our state of independency. I’d like to buy the world a coke, and furnish it with ice, and put some lemon in as well, if only just a slice.” however, it was a rainy night in Georgia, we feel, from which that particular soda started raining all over the world.

And such is American history in a nutcase.

In honour of this, Viktor D. Huliganov signs the Treaty of Independence, thus ratifying it and assuring its immor(t)ality. He may not be a freemason like 13 or more of those 33 those bronze figures, but he is all in favour of life, liberty and the pursuit of ice-cold soda.
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