From “Mariam El-Bobini”, the new Disney Musical about an ISIS bride who flew in by means of a magic burqa.

Pwacticawwy perfect in evewwy way?

Super Caliphatalistic Fragile Ego Lupus
All these women went off freely now they want to dupe us
If they say it loud enough the media’ll join their stupors
Super Caliphatalistic Fragile Ego Lupus

Umm diddle iddle iddle um diddle ISIS
Umm diddle iddle iddle um diddle ISIS

They travelled half way round the world, and everywhere they went
They got seduced by terrorists in a desert tent
They got to watch beheadings and girls sent to slavery
While they had tasty kebabs and a lovely cuppa tea – whooh!

Super Caliph etc.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sham Shamima Sham Shamima Sham Sham Sherie,
I think myself lucky you’re not my mummy
Sham Shamima Sham Shamima Sham Sham Sheroo
Good luck will rub off when they prosecute you.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

And a tankful of NATO makes the ISIS fall down
ISIS fall down, the ISIS fall down
Yes a tankful of NATO makes the ISIS fall down
In a most delightful way.

Baghdadi feathering his nest had very little time for rest
While dodging missiles aimed right at his lair
And every task he undertook, inspired by that book
Became undone, as we all had our fun,

for a
Tankful of NATO makes the ISIS fall down
The ISIS fall down, yes the ISIS fall down
Yes a tankful of NATO makes the ISIS fall down
In a most delightful way.

Would anyone like to suggest further re-edited Mary Poppins lyrics to suit the Shamima Begum case? Your poetic efforts welcomed in the comments below. Or maybe suggestions on how to adapt the screenplay of Mary Poppins to suit the ISIS Brides situation. Instead of the Suffragettes campaigning for women’s votes as in the original, there could be a campaign by woman demanding not to be allowed to vote. Instead of a run on the bank, maybe something to do with the price of Brent Crude? Your creative ideas, please!

How much should Nicholas Sandman win off the Wishywashington Post? (Thursday poll)

Now is the Sandman of our discontent turned glorious Runner by this son of York.

Well, this week we read the welcome news that Covington student Nick “the Smirk” will be suing the wishy-washy wibberal Washington “Oh Father I cannot tell anything other than a lie, Trump chopped down your cherry tree” soon-to-be Ex-Post. The sum he is playing for is 250 million dollars. One can but laugh. If he gets anything close to that, of course, it will cause tremendous sea-changes in the way the media work in similar cases in the future.

Maybe if it goes too far newspapers will be too scared to write anything that is not bland, and already old news and fully substantiated.

Now you can be the Judge in that trial.  Here are some possible awards you can make in favour of Nick Sandmann, all in multiples of 25, to be consistent with what they are bidding for.

 

Odes of Odium

1. Ode to Nancy Pelosi

Drain drain drain
This cold gray swamp
Let them feel the pain
Administered by Trump
Make it clean again
With that drainage pump.

Nancy, Nancy, Nancy,
Don’t think we are nosey
But your tastes look too fancy
We are not so dozy
As to give public finances
For private costs of Pelosi…

2. Ode to Diane Abbott:

O come, thou Bob Mugabe, come
To England’s humble shores
And take thine erring sister home
Back to yours.

Sir Simon Schama tried to shame her
Party for its views
But they carry on to blame the
Schoah on the Jews.

Abbott takes enormous fees
When telling students “hello”
Her comedy begs the question, “Please,
Abbott, where’s Costello?”

She has a great command of figures
A la Dr Evil
And all the population sniggers
Although I doubt that she will.

So Bob, please come and get her
Before she does more harm
And you in charge can set her
Of some stolen farm.

3. Ode to David Lammy

The enemy within.
It’s not his skin
At fault you’ll find
It’s just his mind.

 

More odes of odium and prose of opprobrium to come.

Open Letter to Sara Khan, Lead Commissar for Countering Extremism

Dear Sara,

Responding to your article in todays Daily Telegraph.

The polarisation of opinion is destabilising and will lead to more unrest and personal injuries and deaths. but the ones driving this are the Left and not the Right. In fact the hard left are treating people who have what used to be a centrist and mainstream view as if they were right-wing fascists and making ordinary members of society, especially those who are male, white, Christian and taxpaying, feel as though they are being made pariahs and being made to pay for the privilege, to use the word they normally use to oppress us and make it look like we’re the oppressor.

We need to get back to a code of what is and what is not acceptable as mainstream, and the key parameter that nobody seems to be talking about is respecting the issue of freedom of choice.

If a person has the freedom to choose something, then they also have the responsibility for their choice, and maybe can be called upon to justify it. Where someone doesn’t have a choice, they did not exercise a freedom and therefore people should not expect them to justify it, that seems to me to be the most important aspect people never think of. In my own philosophy it stands next to the so-called “golden rule” of doing to others what you would like them to do to you. Because even that golden rule refers to things where people still have free agency.

If someone does to me something I don’t like but did not choose to do it, let us say that they bump into me but only because they were pushed unexpectedly by someone else, then I cannot blame them. They did to me probably something that they wouldn’t want me to do to them, but they didn’t choose it, hence the agency rule overrides the golden rule.

Taking this as a guide, Sara, one could begin to make a code which gradually replaces what we see as Neo-Marxist political correctness into a code based on chivalry, good-manners and that good-old Christian concept of neighbourly love. If you are the Commissioner for countering extremism, then what you need to do first if you will pardon me telling you your job (which is something I admittedly don’t like when someone does to me, but it does happen all the time and this is for the greater good) is to DEFINE what is extreme and what is not extreme by reference to adherence to these high-level principles.

What is fashionable and unfashionable in terms of specific doctrine can change over time, but certain ideas like fairness to all, or that he who pays the piper calls the tune, therefore people paying taxes should not be pushed away from the front line of access to the benefits bought by those taxes, in case of need. You need to consider defining what the traits are of something that could be described as extreme and anything which can justify itself with motherhood concepts ought not to be so defined.

As a final note, anyone who has 100 Muslim organisations braying to have them removed from office must be doing something right. Rather a lot right, even. So I’m hoping to hear of your successes in the future.

Yours faithfully,

David J. James

What’s the difference between…?

I say, I say, I say: what’s the difference between a social worker and a Rottweiler
I don’t know, what IS the difference between a social worker and a Rottweiler?
You get your kids back off a Rottweiler.

I say I say I say: what’s the difference between the Soviet Union and the European Union?
I don’t know, what IS the difference between the Soviet Union and the Euopean Union?
You get your countries back off the Soviet one.