De impossibilitate parodiae

Picture of Julian Assange during a talk at 26C3
Master wikileaker Julius "Seize 'er" Assange of alledgedly leaking winky...

This week a number of interesting developments hit the headlines as I was travelling around Europe. There is in fact so much going on at the moment that it’s impossible to comment on everything, or indeed stay abreast of everything. Of course one of the main things which caught my eye, and I am sure the eye of every Internet denizen is the goings-on with Mr Julian Assange, the founder of wikileaks, currently under arrest in London and awaiting extradition to Sweden, a country quite happy to overlook and not investigate or prosecute Saab’s dealings in the BAE affair, but extremely concerned to deal out every justice to Mr Assange for allegedly raping two women, whereby the detail seems to be not that he had sex with somebody that was unhappy to have sex with him, but that he did so without wearing a condom when he was supposed to be wearing one. Whether this was two occasions with each of the two women separately or during a threesome, the press has not deemed needful to elucidate. There we go, then, not exactly the next Peter Sutcliffe, but nevertheless enough to put him on the Interpol list in several countries. This apparently has nothing to do with the leaks he is doing other than those involving his genital member, as if anyone is going to believe that. Before you can say Jåkk Røbbænsen, or whatever Jack Robinson is in Swedish, this person will be extraordinarily rendered to the States and called to account before the Senate, some of whom have already issued Iran-style fatwas on him for treachery against their deen.

So concerned that the powers-that-be to nail missed a sandwich (sorry, but that’s how the voice recognition software heard “Mr Assange”) for failure to wear a condom when that was a pre-condition for the sex that in the meantime they even managed to lean on Pope Benedict the 16th to abandon the Roman Catholic Church’s strict ban on blob-wearing, so now Mr A cannot even claim conscientious reasons for his failure to don. That’s how far up the conspiracy to nail this ultraleaker has gone.

And so the wikileaker has been arrested for allowing his own winky to leak into somebody else’s pubic domain, and there has been a scramble for the Internet domain “” – one I went to see if I could get it in order to do some interesting parodies of the recently emerging wholly un-astonishing but for some reason scandalous depeches, I saw that the domain had in fact already been nabbed, and moreover even put into effect with some very stylish, Onion-style parodies of the recent news.  Evidently it was not written on high that this domain should fall into my lot, but at least it seems to have gone into good hands, so go and see if you feel like a good chuckle.

No worries though, I can always do a series on Huliganov TV of my own parody wikileaks, so watch this space. If I do them they will be like a mini-series with their own little section on here. Whether they will be as funny as the ones over at is anyone’s guess, though.  They’re doing a jolly good job.

Another interesting headline this week was that Google Translate have now included Latin in their list of languages to translate into and out of. The problem is that of course everything which isn’t in their database which at the moment are still very small is left in the original even if it is a word which seems to have been available to that classical language anyway. At the moment if you ask it to translate “On the impossibility of parody“, for example, it gives you “De impossibilitate parody” – so it doesn’t recognise the perfectly good Latin word “parodia” which presumably takes a genitive “parodiae”. But it’s early days yet, for Latin, I dare say.

5 thoughts on “De impossibilitate parodiae

  1. This makes me ashamed to be Swedish. These girls are sluts for sure. He slept first with one, than with the other. The girls knew eachvother beforehand; they were members in a socialist organisation. Neither was aware that the other had been sleeping with him. Apparently the condom burst, both times. (hmmm???? )

    They only decided to report the “crime” once they realised that he’d slept with both of them.

    Sweden is politically correct centre of the universe so somehow this was criminal.
    It’s not necessarily certain that Sweden at this point plans to extradite him to the USA. But the USA has managed to press Sweden quite a bit, for example over Pirate Bay and quite a bit during the Cold War about various things. They threaten trade sanctions etc.

    Again, I am really ashamed. Apparently there are demonstrations outside of Sweden’s embassy here in London. Hope the embassy staff get the message and pass it on.

  2. There are theories going about that Wikileaks is an intelligence program being run by Western governments. The purpose would be to expose corruption, highlight ongoing problems with Middle East wars, and to entrap malevolent leakers (those who would give secrets directly to an enemy anyway). The rape charges are an excuse for Assange to hide safely and avoid public questioning. There is much historical precedent for the idea. Many “resistance” movements in authoritarian states have turned out to be traps run by the secret police.

    There are more outlandish theories about Wikileaks, but I believe those to be cleverly crafted disinformation… a way of discrediting the more reasonable speculations about CIA and other activities, such as I have presented here.

    1. All I can say, Spiral, is that it’s very hard to know who is telling the truth, but that in any event anyne should have the freedom to say what they want and I was pleased to see him released on bail today.

  3. Viktor,

    I’m happy to receive your links into our domain. If you have a nice parody, we can post it on the site, link back for credit.

    Keep Leaking,

    1. Dear Jules,

      Many thanks for that.

      I set up a separate blog on wordpress, and I’ll be attempting some spoof news items on there, which you’d be welcome to mirror or develop if there are any that take your fancy.

      I’ll also make a permanent link to your new blog in my blogroll.

      You write Onion-style stuff really well, you deserve the max recognition.

Your thoughts welcome, by all mean reply also to other community members!